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Texas Golf Tales

Here are some short Tall Texas Golf Tales by Tank - enjoy!

Fire In His Club or "That's One Hot Three Wood!"

David Mueck, of Robinson, comes up to me at a Jr. High basketball game and says he thinks he might have something for me.  It goes under the category of “How hot was it?” or “How windy was it?”  or “You ain’t gonna believe this!”  Only in this case it was “How dry was it?”  It seems that a certain anesthesiologist named Hector, from Waco, was at the Cimarron Hills Golf Course near Georgetown enjoying his round until he hit a drive into the rough. He surveyed the situation and decided that his three metal could reach the green. He took a mighty swing and low and behold he hit a rock. He ripped a gaping hole in his club, but that was not the worst part. It must have been titanium, because it set off sparks and caught the grass on fire sending him into a panic! He did a quick fire dance and was able to stop the spread. Every time I think I heard it all, someone always comes up with something new. Cimaron Hills


West Texas Golf

Heading to West Texas to play golf? Then you better learn to play the way the West Texans play. You need to learn to hit in 50 mile per hour winds and learn to deal with dust storms, rain storms, hailstorms, snow storms, lightning, and tornados, because they can show up quickly. Droughts will cause course characteristics to change dramatically as in "didn't there used to be a water hazard here?" The terrain is mostly flat and the winds always howling - add rock hard, dry fairways and you get "Wow, I just hit a 410 yard drive!"

The people are also different and remote areas will have the ranchers/farmers showing up to play, just off their tractors, in their overalls. Sometimes there is just not much else in the way of recreation other than the local courses. The majority of these courses are flat but who wants to walk when it gets to 110 degrees or so cold you can't feel your fingers. Also some of the views are magnificent and some areas are just damn ugly! This is big country and sometimes distance to the next course can "be awhile." Amarillo, Odessa, Lubbock, Midland, El Paso, and most of the larger cities are just like any where else, with okay to outstanding courses. There are also some West Texas gems that make a West Texas golfing excursion worth the trip - Butterfield Trails Golf Course in El Paso is an example. Check out some pictures of this gem.

Butterfield Trail in El Paso Butterfield Golf CourseView of Butterfield Golf Course

I think West Texas is also where the honor system of paying (lock boxes) must have been invented because there is a bunch of them. You can pretend you own some West Texas courses because you might be the only person there! "Tee time" - what the heck is that? Oh, let's talk about the varmints - snakes, lizards spiders, ants, skunks opossums, cottontails, jackrabbits, squirrels, gophers, prairie dogs, ground squirrels, wasp, bees, hornets, mosquitoes, cicadas, biting flies, bugs, deer, antelope, feral hogs, coyotes, foxes, cows, crows, hawks, quail, dove, geese, ducks, owls, worms, and more - all of which you might encounter at any time while on the course.

Cost is usually not one of your problems in this area as they haven’t raised prices in years. Tree problems are also not the norm - they haven't raised them in years either! Cart girls, huh, not in West Texas but you will pass quite a few tumbling tumble weeds as they try to find the next hole. Traps - miss the fairway and you'll get plenty of practice in the sand. In fact you may encounter some of the trap sand in your eyes during the frequent dust storms. Water holes - you won't find many in West Texas.


Another True Story in the Adventures of the Tankster

It was a hot Wednesday afternoon. I called home to see if they wanted me to bring home something to eat. They wanted Dairy Queen but the one I was near was still being repaired from tornado damage so I went over to the one in Hewitt. I went inside to order because it was cooler for the wait. About the time I was ready to leave an older lady with a cane walked in and sat in the table next to mine. A man, woman and young girl got up to leave and the older lady stopped them and remarked what a cute skirt the girl had on. I noticed that the girl had on golf shoes so I whipped out my TGB card and gave it to them. This started a brisk conversation and I found out that miss Alex Rossi had finish third (83, 91, 86) in the 11 year old division of the Starburst Tournament (1065 entrees). She wanted a picture with me and she autographed my “Bible” and I gave her a copy of the Austin Golf from Dec. 2004. She and her family belong to Lost Creek Country Club in Austin and I have now been invited to come there for a free round. This kind of thing happens to me on a regular basis and I think I love it. The end!


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